Weird Signs

OHMYBANANASIT'STVXQDAYYYYY!!!!

2009-12-23T01:51:00.000-08:00

lol. bananas. BAHAHAHAHHHAHA. anyway~ to all cassies out there... HAPPY TVXQ DAAAAYYYYY! may the hotness and charisma and talent still be with them~ rofl

so what did i do this day? AISH. i feel SOOOO bad. i'm supposed to immerse myself to TVXQ today but.... AISH BLAME MINHO, K?! i watched him all day~ NOOO. and 2PM too. WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! but buuuut!!!! i listened to BREAKOUT when i'm buffering the video~ rofl BREAKOUT SO AWESOME LAAAAAHHHHH! zomg must worship AVEX. lmao~ BREAKOUTBREAKOUUUUTTTT!!!!!! *getsbricked*

anyway~ i tried to fix my hair today. lmao it's sooo weird. XDDDDD but i likey it. but it's still so weird. ROFL

oh yeah. even though i'm not an ELF, let's support HanKyung, k? cause supporting him is like supporting ChunJaeSu after all. since they are fighting for almost the same reason. so yeah~ HANKYUNG ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITHHHH!!!!!!!! XDD *party*

err. what a waste of space for a post. lmao k bye.

ILOVEYOUMINHOOOO! XDDDDDDDDD i must have my MINHODAY too. XDDDD but dun worry. i still love my TVXQ the most. WOOOOH. BREAKOUTBREAKOUT!!!!! *getskilledbycassiopeia*

ZOMG I'M BLOGGING AGAIN!

2009-12-22T02:31:00.001-08:00

rofl!!! yeah~ i'm blogging again. it's been awhile. and a lot has happened. lmao but due to overexcessive (talk about exaggeration~ XD) schoolworks, i wasn't able to blog about my wonderful life. (wonderful my ass) so yeah. where should i start? hmmm. OH! i had my haircut. it was like jaejoong's hair. really liked it. but i had it rebonded. now i fucking hate it!!! KYAAAAA. kill me, someone, k? ==" eeehhh. what else? OH. i like jokwon. XDDDDDDD i like him, k? he's my drug. well, aside jaechunsu of course~~ WOOOHOOOO. XD

k. i'm running out of things to say. EH. but i have a lot to say~~~ KYAAAA. k. i'll tell them one post at a time. lmao (this is whati get for not blogging for such a long time~ TT.TT)

FIRST! uuuuh. simbang gabi? YEAH!? LMAO k i so love simbang gabi. it's super duper fun and hot. XDDDDDDDDDDDDD almost everyone knows that i have a crush on this altar boy right~~?!?!?! BAHAHAHHAHHAH. zomg so handsome lah. XD anyany~~ he's so.... handsome. LOOOOL well, he did somethings that really made me smile. just... things. HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA. k i'm smiling stupidly again~ XD i must stop myself. LOOOOOL

wtf. did you even understand anything from this post? eh. when did i ever share something with sense, right? i'll just share videos. XDDDDD of.... my new favorite band. i swear. if this band ever releases an album, i'll buy 100 copies of it. THEN make my own fanclub. and name myself their number 1 fan. LOOOOOL

SHOCKED? THERE'S MOOOOREEEE!!!!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDD

ANDANDANDDDDD!!!!!

*getskilledbycassies* LOL YESYES. NOTHING BEATS THE ORIGINAL. BUT THIS IS TRUELY PRICELESS. IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES. LMAAAAOOOO. IF EVER ONE IF THESE GUYS IS READING THIS... PLEASE RELEASE AN ALBUM!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE A FAN HERE!!!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

PS. I LOVED THE TONIGHT THE BEST!!!! XDDDDDDD

kbye. XD

AMBEEERR!! spazzspazz

2009-10-12T04:54:00.000-07:00

rofl this is gonna be a amber spazz page. weeee~~~~ lol but before that, i tell you about my day. it was fine. but i still hate my bangs. eh? hahahahha! err. i had fun(?). though i was not contented with my stalking. err. will do better tomorrow! yeah! oooh. and my friends LOVED the fic. yey mee~~

-.- enough about this, really~ let's go to amber, shall we? kkk

GOOOOOOOOOOSHHHH! AMBER VISITED AFF(X)TION AGAIN! AND I WAS NOT THERE... AGAIN!!! GAAAAAH. WHY SO UNLUCKY LA. T-T

did you amber fangirls saw this? i hope not. this made my nosebleed. rofl

Amber Liu.. why so hot? gaaaaah. you can totally be a girl, and i'll still go for you. rofl

Oh. i must share video~~~

not really a big fan of kryber buuut.... PUMPKIN MUSHROOM?! WTF AMBER YOOOOOUUU.... SO ADORABLE. HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!

PETITION FOR KPOPCON: http://kpopcon.info/petition/ PLEASE SIGN! THAAAANKIES.

k bye <333

Fucking ugly hair. -________-"

2009-10-11T02:31:00.000-07:00

I'm so pissed. I hate my hair. Seriously. The hair was just okay. But the bangs was.... HORRIBLE.
Eh. I said I share to you a picture. Here it is.

CAUTION: BEWARE OF THE UGLINESS. XDDD

You can't see the bangs that much. But i tell you. It is soooooo ugly. Gah. I'm having a hard time with it. stfu

We have LT tomorro and I'm not yet studying. Too lazy to do so. It's like I ever studied for exams. Eh.

'Kaaaay. I wanna go to school tomorrow. But I still hate my hair. I dunno what I'm gonna do with it. stfustfustfu

I must share a video that made me lol so hard. wtf
...
...
...
...
...

I dunno how to share video... yet. So I must share link. HAHA. XDDD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooxV-i74N5U&feature=related <--- EPIC. I SWEAR. EPIIICCCC PHAAAAAILLL. YOOSU SUCH AN EPIC PHAIIIILLLLL. Eh. Bye~

rofl sorry for posting another ugly pic sorrysorrysorrysorry *goesonwiththesong*

EDIIIIIIIIT: I know now how to post vid. YEY. Thanks to Shannen~ ILY banana~

So. Here's the vid. Enjoy. ^^

NOW. REALLY. BYEE!

Do I really need to put a title here? Oh cmon.

2009-10-10T03:58:00.001-07:00

COOOOOW. Me finished fanfic. MWAHAHAHAHH! Well, I didn't finish it all the way. I just finished... writing all my thoughts. rofl WHAT?

Anyway... today has been very weird for me~ I rode LRT for the first time!!! wtf I was so amazed la. kkkk I accompanied my friend to CEU Manila. I THOUGHT Tony and Jackey is near CEU MANILA... only to know that it was near CEU MAKATI?! Gosssh. We walked around CEU for nearly an hour, asking random people where this building is, getting stared at by supposedly cool college people, only to know that the Tony and Jackey I knew was actually in Makati. Come on. That's soooo... fuck worthy.

But I'm not saying I'll give up Tony and Jackey. I'll just have it at the SM North Edsa branch. rofl

I DID have my haircut today. And it was .... aweful. I must post picture tomorrow. lol and you'll see how aweful it was. FUAHAHAHAHA.

Lookie there ---> so many links~~~ kkkkkk I had fun collecting links. TEEHEE. XDDD

...

...

...

...

...

...

That's all bye.

If you have the time to waste... then read this. :3

2009-10-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Plurk is being a bitch. So here I am... blogging about I don't know what. PFFFFT. Life is oh so boriiing.

Oh. I made a fic for my friend. Eh. There's really nothing special about that. TEEHEE. XDD

Oh oh OOOH. I'm (hopefully) gonna have my haircut tomorrow. Gosh. It's about time. I have been waiting for this for like... forever! EH. STFU. Now wish me luck because the chances of getting lost... is higher than the chance of getting the right way. Hahahaah. But just like my friend said... getting lost is fun... for 5 minutes. -.-

I must share to you a video of my Jun-Chan~~~ (rofl it's junsu. -.-)

...

...

...

...

...

HOW DO YOU EVEN SHARE VIDEOS HERE!??!?! STFU -______-""

HERE IS LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ6ZxGhlWRc&feature=player_embedded YOU MUST WATCH SWEAR. KKKKKKKK

K bye. :P

Random Blabbering...

2009-10-07T05:22:00.000-07:00

Oh lookie. It's currently 8:22 <-- late at night for me. rofl well, if it's school days. Hahaha. We have a LongTest on Filipino tomorrow. Eh. Why am I saying this to you again? lol I just felt the urge of making an entry today. I dunno why. Now I dunno what to say. PFFFFT. -.-" Should I just talk about this certain couple in our school which makes me want to puke? Teehee. No offense to those two but... okay. I intend to offend. rofl I'm never the type to back out from fights anyway. Err. So yeah. They suck. lol I used to have a huge crush on one of them, but not anymore. Not with my new found knowledge. stfu Now what should I say? Eh. How's my day? Fucking boring. Err. I should stop talking about this la. Oh oh OOOHHH! Remember the guy whom I fell head over heels with!? (just look at past posts if you can't remember^^) I have no more feelings whatsoever for him nao. MWAHAHHAAAH. Moving on feels good la. kkkkk Okay. I'm not really stressing, but I just can't get my mind off of studies. You must know that I'm never the type to worry about my studies. However, now, it seems different? I tend to WANT to study. But in the end, I end up doing nothing but spazz in the internet. Sucks? I know. Eh. I must continue this later. Hahaha. For now, let me show you a picture of my 'new' found true... girlfriend. rofl

It's AMBERRR!!!
Hahahahaha.

Stalking is fun. Agree?

2009-06-18T03:13:00.000-07:00

Sooo. I was reading back on my entries a while ago and I realized that I haven't blogged since the day I met the TDB family. GOOOSH. That was like... weeks ago!? Geez, really. How lazy can I get? PFFFTTT.

Anyway, onto my oh-so wonderful life (sense the sarcasm? >.<) , nothing had been really special. I started going to school last week and so far, I'm quite enjoying it. I liked my section. Though I would still definitely prefer my old section than the present one. Well, I know everyone would eventually grow on me when time passes. I miss Ms. Aspilan. OH GOOSH. I really do~~ AGHHHH. I WANT HER TO BE MY ADVISER AGAIN!!! T.T

My life as a senior right now has been really blur for me. The fact that I would be graduating any time soon is not yet completely absorbed by this useless brain of mine. I must admit that I became worse than last year. I'm letting days pass like it's nothing!!! Well, it's fun doing that, not caring about a single thing. Haaa. Being carefree is nice, isn't it? Well, as long as I'm not failing because of this, there is no way you would stop me from being this carefree. MWAHAHAHHAHA. xdddd

Basically, nothing in my school is worthy enough for attention. Except one. OHOOOYESSS. I have long forgotten about Jet and now I have a new prospect, with another J. Name? Secret. MWAHAHAHHAHA. Anyway, SHE looked like Kim HyunJoong of BOF. Impossible? Ohhh you're most definitely wrong. She looks exactly like him, except she has a fairer complexion. But other than that, same eyes, same shape of face, SAME SMILE. OMFG. CAN YOU IMAGINE HYUNJOONG'S SMILE RIGHT NOW?!??!?!?!?! GOOOODDDD. I'M IN FANGIRL HEAVEN RIGHT NOW. PFFFFTTTTT.

Me and my stalkermate, April had our breaks occured with the thought of that certain someone. And our thought are more than happy to comply with our fangirling. xddd Just this afternoon, I think me and April were busted. She saw us staring at her with a dreamy smile on. What's a dreamy smile? A smile too wide for its own good. >.< So since we got caught, we decided to cool off a little and focus on one of our prospects again. It;s LLLLLSECREEEEETTT. :))))) We thought we moved on with L buuut we though wrong. LOL she is just waaaay to cute to resist. But I guess we're more attached to J now. PFFFTTTT.

So as I said, we planned to cool off for a couple of days but... minutes just passed and we started fangirling and stalking again. She is just waaaay too irresistable. XDD

I guess this would be my favorite past time this school year. Not that I'm complaining. Stalking is really fun. Especially when you're a professional actor/stalker and when the one you're stalking is worth stalking.

Uhhh. Just makes me wonder though, WHY DOES ALL MY PROSPECTS START WITH LETTER J?!!?!?!??!! LOOK! Jaejoong, Junsu, Jet, AAAND NOOOOW. JJJJJJJJ. :DDDDDD I wonder why. >.<

I WANT BANANA NAAAAOOO. GIMMME!!!!!

The Dancing Bananas

2009-06-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

LOOOOOOL! This has to be the craziest, most fun day in plurk that I ever had~~ I thought nothing would really happen to me today but BOY was I wrong. Plurk was super crazy~~! Yeeeey!

So this is how it all started. There was this girl who plurked that she wanted to stalk DBSK, Suju, BB and others. I replied and said I also want to. People started replying then skypark unnie (the one who plurked) said that we should form a group. Being the lazy one, I suggested " The Stalkers. " LMAO! No one agreed on my suggestion, saying it was too obvious. Then bananakhun unnie (anothe person from plurk^^) suggested " The Dancing Bananas." LOL! We all agreed on it~

From then on, we talked about nonsense! Like we should have banana costumes. And our talents would be stalking. And in the future, there would be a headline "TDB PWNS TVXQ!" WAHAHAHAHAH! So funny~ But that's not the part! I SUGGESTED SOMETHING! WHOOT. I'm terribly craving for a red glowstick at that time. So I suggested: " YEAH FANS WOULD WAVE BANANA LIGHTSICK AT US! LOOL! " OMG! It became my trademark throughout the whole conversation~

Soon, the famm became bigger and now, I don't know how many we are! Geez. It just started with me, skypark unnie and bananakhun unnie and now, TDB IS CONQUERING THE PLURK WORLD WITH IT'S BANANA AWESOMENESS!! HAHAHA. All in all, everyone from the TDB famm enjoyed theirselves. Everyone said that that was the craziest famm in Plurk! WAHAHAHA!

Now thinking about it, we became waaay off topic! It was fun though! HAHAHAH! Wishing to Plurk with you again, TDB famm! LOVE YOU AND YOUR UNIQUE AWESOMENESS AND WEIRDNESS! LOL!

Yours truly, your banana lightstick facilitator
KARESIPONEE or BUNUNUH as I prefer to be called LOL

now you see the true power of bananas. WAHAHHAHAH!

I WANNA GO TO TONY & JACKEY SO MUCH~~

2009-06-01T20:36:00.000-07:00

So I was once again surfing the net (like I do everyday ^^) and at some point, I came to this site featuring Korean salons here in the Philippines. Tony&Jackey is one of them. I have heard this name countless of times already. I forgot it, but now it is hunting me again. Gosh. I WANNA GO THERE RIGHT NOOOOW!

I have disregarded T&J before cause the price was too expensive for me. The first time I saw it, it said that haircut is 800 and above pesos. TOO EXPENSIVE~~ But now, I saw that haircut would be 300-500 pesos. Pretty reasonable if you would be so happy with your hair.

Now you must understand that I am an avid fan of Korean people. Even if you're just a commoner, I LOVE YOU~~ So all Korean people have fans. ^^; Due to my evident fondness of Koreans, I came to like everything about them. Language, skin tone, fashion and HAIRSTYLE. I really want to get a Korean hairstyle. That's why when I'm out to get my hair cut, I would always go " YAH! More layers PUUHLEAASE. " . They put more layer, all right. But it's still not Korean. T&J is different though. This time, I'm sure I would get my Korean hair. Why? STAFF IS KOREAN~~ Yey!!!

Since staff is Korean.. the whole environment in T&J is Korean-ish. :DD Feedbacks say that they also play Korean music there. WEE! Also, if you show a picture of the hair you like, they would do it. Very identically. Unlike Filipino hairdressers, no offense. ^^; AAND! Since they're Koreans... I COULD TALK TO THEM LIKE ALL THE TIME CAUSE I LOOOOOVE KOREANS~~ esp DBSK. TEEHEE!

I have already planned a date to go there with my friend. We would go there on October. HAHAHAH! I know. We're kinda excited. XDDD But we moved it to October since we still have to save money. SO! Anyone who wants to come with us!? Feel free to tell me!! The more the merrier~~~

T&J HERE WE COME~~ ON OCTOBER~~~ XDDDDD

Why am I always the one at fault?

2009-05-31T21:18:00.000-07:00

My day was going fine. My one-shots were doing extremely well. I had so muuuch fun in watching Star King ( ZOMG!!! HyunJoong was just sizzling hot there^^ and I must say that even though I hate Tiffany soo much, she is so pretty there. ^^ ). And of course, my morning happiness wouldn't be complete without a little doze of my special dolphin boy, Kim JunSu. But all of it was ruined in lunch. When my father accused me of something I hate to be accused of.

In my post yestreday evening, I said I had had enough of Hayden Kho's scandal. And here I am. In the dining table. Getting accused of downloading Hayden's video. WHAT THE HELL! I literally like to rip my head off at that time! If only I am more bolder in front of my father, he could've died right now. Here's the case: Me and my sibling had a thing for downloading stuffs. No. Not that kind of stuffs. But stuffs like dramas, games, etc. But due to excessive downloading, our computer broke several times. So our parents told us to stop downloading. We didn't stop, though. BUT! I never donwloaded from that computer AGAIN! I download stuffs from my laptop only~~ Now, my father kept on yelling at me in the dining table. Here is the exact conversation.

Father: Sino nagdodownload kahapon.
Ako: Malay ko.
Father: Wag niyo akong gawing tanga. Alam ko na nagdodowload kayo! Pinapatay niyo lang yung monitor pero yung CPU bukas!
Ako: *kumakain*
Father: Ano ba dinodownload niyo? Yung kay HAYDEN KHO no?!
Ako: *teary-eyed*
Father: Ano? Yung mga intsik mo na walang kwenta?
Ako: Itanong mo kay Ate. *hurt*
Father: Akala niyo hindi ko alam. Eh hanggang 12 nga gising pa kayo eh.
Ako: ...

That's about everything that was exchanged during lunch. He must've sensed that I'm about to cry or something. Yes. I'm a crybaby. And I'm extremely mad right now. First. Could he please get the facts right before he accuse me of something? I wasn't awake until 12, for fuck's sake! I was only awake until 11:00! 1 hour, big difference! Second, why would I download those icky videos?! I have no intention whatsoever in watching sluts having sex! Ugh. I would if that was Yunho and Jae but noooooo! I have no interest in Hayden and Katrina! Eew mehn. Lastly, does he really think I'm THAT stupid? If I would do that, I would make sure that I would turn off the fucking PC before I go to sleep. And why would I even do that? I have the fucking YouTube! Geez. I really hate this so much.

This isn't the first time he accused me so badly. Another was when he said that i have to the something. Mind you, that something was very hard for a lazy bod like me to do. Anyway, I did it. Guess what? He asked our fucking, slutty maid if I did that. She said NOOO! Goddamnit. He fucking believed it. THEN he started to lecture me about how lazy I am blah blah blah. I told him I did do it. But he wouldn't listen. Makes me wonder. Does he really treat me as a daughter? Or is he taking advantage of my kindness cause out of the three, I'm the only one who doesn't anwer back, who doesn't demand something, who burdens them the least. Hell, I even let them fucking control my life. Argh. Now he believes the slutty maid more than me. How would you feel when your own father does that to you, huh?!

AISH!!! I'm so pissed right now! ARGGHHH.

Paminsan minsan naman kasi, wag kang magconclude agad. Alamin mo muna kasi. Nakakasakit ka na eh. And you're not helping either. Masyado na akong nasaktan kay Jet. Tapos ikaw pa. Tangina mo.

Fuck.

Why I can never get enough of DBSK and I would never like Suju...

2009-05-31T05:48:00.000-07:00

Up to this point, I have no idea on why am I not getting hooked on Super Junior. I find them super HOOT in Sorry Sorry and I really love DongHae, KiBum and HeeChul. But I can't find a way to be attached to them like how I was attached to DBSK. This maybe the sole reason why.

I wanted Super Junior to the something new. Please don't get mad at me but this is what I notice. When I see DBSK trying new, I would go gaga over it. But then Super Junior would follow. They wouldn't completely copy it, but the concept would be the same.

Proof? Their album just now. Notice. DBSK became manlier due to their 4th album, Mirotic. Then what happens? Super Junior followed them and released their I-don't-know album with them also being manly. With the suits and all. I think I'm just getting tired and I want to see something new to them.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Super Junior. But I also don't like them. i just adore their dorkiness. XDDDD

Now onto DBSK. HEAVEN is a word that can only describe them. These are the main reasons why I can't get enough of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDGJRS4Rebw&feature=related

Ohh. Junsu and your adorable cuteness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r6vcDOpAeM&feature=related

I'm a die hard fan of YunJae. No questions asked. XDDD (I died during the holding hand part thingie~~ gaaaah )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMI3bw3G8RI&feature=related

I love Junsu and his English. I wanna marry dolphin boy~~ But I know Chun would get angry~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zPJZL3Ze64&feature=rec-HM-r2

You dead? Me too. Yey uss!! How hot is it seeing them blowing into each other's ears?! I died during the YunJaeSu moment. They look so intimate.

Had fun? I had! WAHAHAHAHHA!

The scandal that's making my ears hurt.

2009-05-31T02:21:00.000-07:00

I was watching The Buzz a while ago and they were talking about the never-ending, overrated sex scandal of Dr. Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili. As a 15 year old girl, I'm getting tired of hearing this at least once a day for a whole fucking week. Now let me say my opinion. Please don't get offeneded but this is really my opinion. ^^

I have NEVER seen senate act like this in my entire 10 decades and 5 years of breathing. Why can they not act this active when more important issues were there? First of all, I really don't get why senate is taking part of this. Second, why is Katrina only the one who is the victim here? Isn't Hayden also a victim?

I'm getting tired of Katrina making the world show sympathy to her tears. She clearly enjoyed the whole thing. And then she was saying that she didn't know that she was getting taped. Only a fool would believe that. SHE WAS FACING THE FUCKING CAMERA WHEN SHE WAS DOING THE SLUT DANCE!! Anyway, why should she be considered as the only victim when she clearly enjoyed herself?

Why is this the only sex video that is ever publicized? And as what Kris said earlier ( or Boy ^^ ) , where are the other videos? Rumor has it that there are a gazillion videos out there. So where is it? Is something going on here?

FINE FINE!!! I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm becoming fucking serious.

Weird Signs...

2009-05-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of our review and it was depressing+fun+weird. Aren't you all tired of me talking about this one guy that makes my world go fucking zigzag rather than round? Well, I'm so sorry but I think I would still be talking about him. But up to this day only.

Why is it that even though I already gave up... he still has an effect on me? Of course. Duh. I still love him. Giving up is not that easy, after all. Right?

Well anyway, my day today was fairly normal. I got 73% on my ACET Mock Exam and 75% on my UPCAT Mock Exam. Pretty fair if I want to pass Ateneo and UP. Now I know you're not used to me babbling about my oh so wonderful future and other serious stuffs. So I'll just talk about things I usually talk about.

I was almost late due to the freakin rain. I had surpassed sooo many weird circumstances but I would just tell them to you if we meet personally. So call me, okay? ^^ Well anyway, when I arrived at our lovely (if the fucking sluts weren't there. ^^) room, everyone was looking at me. And it was so irritating to have everyone's attention. I could bear with that... if I look fine. But when I entered my room today, I looked like a bunch of gorillas tried to attack me and get my precious banana. Nuff said, I could pretty much tell that he was looking straight at me. To make things worse, the fucking door wouldn't close no matter how hard I try to close it. ( Oh please Kostka. Please fix your doors. ) Result? I stood there, standing like a fool for less than a minute, trying to close a door. How silly does that look like? I look like some kid with a mental disorder that has something to do with repeating things over and over again. Okay. That happened aaaand let's skip to 15 minute break.

What happened? A ritual of breaking my heart to pieces. How? These are the steps. First, get Jet. Next, make him smile. Then, make him sit at the back of the fucking slut while smiling. Then, make him talk to them. Finally, make them laugh hysterically as if trying to mock my sadness. Yes. That's what happened during our break. Well, I couldn't handle the situation cause it's too much for a person whose giving up to handle so we went outside. My friend went to the comfort room and she was happy. ^^ ( At least someone is happy. )

After the break, we did more exams. And yeah. There was a time when he was standing in front me, waiting for the teacher to give him something. I dunno if I should consider it a sign or what, but he stayed there for like minutes while the others just stood there for like 5 seconds. Well anyway, dismissal came and it was time to say goodbye. Like I had to. As soon as I saw the sluts embracing each other, I started heading for the door. But one scene made me rooted on the floor.

A girl was trying to hug him. Bullshit. I don't know what happened. But the hug didn't happen. Much to my relief.

Overall, today was a day full of heartbreaks. But you know what? I think I'm reaaaally numb. I know I'm in pain. But I just can't feel it. Crazy? You'll know it when you fall in love.

As I said, no matter what happened, nothing will change. And nothing did. I'll continue forgetting him. Even though I'm text mates with him now, I know it wouldn't last that long. It really is best to forget him.

I hate being in love, really. But why does it give me so much joy?

Why does the most bitter thing have to be the sweetest thing too? Is fate playing on us?

1 day to go. And I'm hopeless.

2009-05-29T04:37:00.000-07:00

" It's over... "

All the time, that was the only thing that ran through my mind. I guess, it really is over. From the looks of everything I just saw a while ago, I have no chance. I'm hopeless.

So yesterday, on my post, I said I would tell you what happened. It really breaks me to tell you all of this. But it is my choice to tell it to you since I really need to pour my emotions somewhere where he can't see.

So here is my story. I said yesterday that something would definitely happen today. And something did happen. A lot of things did happen. I also said that I would stalk them, just to get an idea on what is going on. I did. And I wished that I just didn't. At around 12:30 in the afternoon, me and my friend went to Kostka when we finished buying this large float and fries from McDonalds. On our way to our room, God gave me this sign again. I met him. With his friends. Now let me tell you. Meeting them that early is a very rare happening. Because most of the time, they arrive 3-5 minutes late. When I saw him, my knees almost bucked, but I knew I couldn't give in just yet. Not with him in front of my face. So I continued walking and when we're out of sight, I acted like how a fan girl should act when her idol shook her hand. Anyway, let's jump to the unimportant parts. The most important is the dismissal.

When dismissal came, everybody stood up. EXCEPT him and his friends, and the girls that I hate to the point that I hate them more that peas+cockroach+straight fics. Urrgh. Just means that I hate them to the core. Well, they won't get away from my sight like that. So we did crazy stuffs just to know what is happening to them. ( I would like to apologize to Joyce for molesting your jacket. It's the only way possible. ^^ ) In the end, we gave up cause they were taking too long. We went inside McDo cause Krista's precious one is there. When we went outside again ( cause we realize that we don't have enough money to even buy fries. ^^ ) I saw them. At first, the scene of him, standing there and smiling, was oh-so dear to me. But when I saw the whole picture, I wish I just went blind.

There with him are the nasty girls. Giggling to each other like a bunch of sluts. It drives me nuts seeing them acting like that. Well anyway, that didn't drive me to the edge yet. I was still fine until that point. But something happened. And this something is not a simple act anymore. And I would happily let all my anger out. :))))

He fucking let those sluts enter his car. Ugggh. You don't know how horrible the scene was for me. I nearly cried out when I saw that, but I can't do that till I'm home. I want to fucking pull those fucking fugly blouses out of that car so it would not be stained by their slutiness. Yes. I know I'm being rude here. But that's just how life goes. Yes. It did break my heart when I saw those girls entering. But that was not the cherry on top.

He was fucking smiling. I have never wished in my life for him to stop smiling than that time. Never. I didn't continue following them cause I know that I would be killing myself if I did. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I want my last day with him to be fun. But all of it changed with just one single day. And I hate it so much. But I don't care right now. If he wants to do it this way, then fine. At least he'll be happy for long. While I just suffer for one more day. Or will my love for him prevail longer? I really don't know at this point. I'm so clueless and puzzled. I want him, yet, I want to let him go. I'm a bastard for even having high hopes for him. I knew it was impossible to begin with, and my selfish self just won't listen.

I'm sorry, my heart, for making you suffer like this. I'm sorry, my mind, for forcing you to paint pictures of him everytime. I'm sorry, Jet, for bothering you with such feelings. Mianhe.

I guess this could be the day wherein I would totally give up. I want to shed tears, but I can't. Maybe I'm numb, or whatever. What happens tomorrow, will happen. I don't know if I'll change my decision but it is unlikely for that to happen now.

I was unable to accomplish my goal. Because I wanted more than your back. I wanted you.

I realized that I have fallen in love with you from the start. And I'm just messing up with myself, denying these fucking feelings. It'll be hard to forget you when my mind seems to be used to painting your pictures everytime. Hell, I think it even forgot how to draw S and D's pictures whom I have adored for 2 years and counting. You, you just gave me 1 month and less and this is what happens. But I'll try.

This is the end, I guess. I loved you. Please remember that.

JET IS LAHAAAVE now signing off.

2 days left and everything is getting worse.

2009-05-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

" I'll get him... no matter what it takes. "

THAT! That was what was on my mind when I first saw him smile. When was that? When had this introduction thingie on one of our subjects. Think it was Day 1 of Bio. Well, that really wasn't important. What was important was his smile. I fell in love with it the second I saw it. You know why?

" Yoochun... "

Yup. He smiles JUST LIKE Yoochun. He looks like him too. Since that fated day, my heart was pulled closer to him. Everyday wouldn't be complete without seeing him. That's why I curse Sunday cause we don't have classes. As day passed, me and my oh-so dearest friend, Krista, sensed something weird that could make my senstive heart leap.

He seems to be taking interest on us... particularly me.

Since the day that I almost collided with him in the stairs ( due to my vain attempt in preventing him and me meeting at one point. I ran the fastest speed my legs could manage, but still, he was faster than me so we almost collided. Get the picture? ) everything has been so weird. We caught him looking at us. When dismissal is there, we would always be behind his pack. ( just looking at his back makes me happy. ^^ ) And he would gradually slow down and turn his back, looking at us without, apparantely, us noticing. We did though. We have eyes like a hunter's when it comes to... dudes. Days have passed like that and my heart was about to burst due to happiness. But one day... well... actually last Wednesday...

My friend told me something.

When she was looking at him, he rolled his eyes. In a mean way. Effect on me? Disastrous. When going downstairs, they were, as always, ahead of us. Weird thing is I kept on shouting out my anger. Shouting is perfect for releasing anger, let me tell you that. Well anyway, that happened and he kept on looking at us. At that time, I didn't want anything in the whole world rather than him coming to me and telling me that everything's okay. Tough luck. That would never happen.

That day passed bay and I almost cried. Really. Out of anger and pain with just one single act.

The next day wasn't any better. Yesterday, Thursday, was hell. A friend again told me that some girl was trying to communicate with him. And he talked back. Again, what a simple act, but it completely ruined my day. Completely. To make matters worse? I was tremendously sick at that day. I really considered not attending review class for the next day ( apparentely today).

Well. That didn't happen and I still attended review classes today. Today can be called " hell day part 2". Yuup. Well, I attended just because something came into my mind.

My goal here is just to love you from afar. I have no idea why I wanted you to love me too when you have no idea about my feelings. Seeing you sometimes looking at my way makes me the happiest girl alive. Please. Just continue standing there and not turn your back on me. Just that. Please.

Yeah. I would love him from a far. I was confident on that. But something pushed me on the edge. I would tell you the details tomorrow cause I'm planning to stalk them ( yeah. that's how much i love him ) and see what would happen.

Initially, from what we heard, girls that I hate were asking them on going out. He answered yes. My heart broke. And I really don't know now.

As of now. That's all. Have a nice night. Or whatever. :D